Reflecting on 37
That statement would mean that I would have to somehow deny my caring husband and three awesome children. NOT A CHANCE!
That would just be unnecessary guilt, which the last 36 years has taught me a lot about. I have definitely spent a lot of time on my knees asking for His forgiveness, counsel and direction as I have journeyed married life and motherhood.
I am proud to say that I have come a long way from being the mom that sits in the car outside of Target feeling guilty about making my 3-year-old daughter get the Blue’s Clues undies that I wanted, instead of the Power Puff Girl ones that she really wanted.
Yes, I am that serious! I sat in the car listening to her cry and felt guilty about what I had just done.
I mean, who had the right to decide? The one who purchased them or the one who actually wears them? Ha! Yes, let the debate begin.
I will announce that at 37, I can now forgive myself for that moment.
After that memorable motherhood fail, I began mastering some pretty awesome communication skills. It takes quite a bit of practice to figure out four personalities, choose the perfect words for each and then execute to my desired result. 😉
This has worked much, much better in keeping momma and family happy as we walk back to the car. After all, I am the more experienced one, right? And for a very long time, the pro at getting my way too!
I have survived the first few years of marriage, three very different stages of childrearing and was navigating life quite swiftly. That is, until a teenager showed up one day!
Could you believe that I had to learn how to parent ALL over again? I had lost all forgiveness and patience that I had accumulated in compassion for my babies that just did not know any better, so it was my job to teach them.
I was no longer the pro at communication, but the pro at being on my knees the longest begging for my sanctity because a teenager made me FREAK OUT! And I mean, sobbing.
I prayed a lot for His counsel, removed a few bedroom doors, canceled a lot of sleepovers, refused outings, ignored the “but everyone else is doing it” argument and shouted at my husband a lot for “NOT DOING SOMETHING” to help! I mean, why does it always have to be me? All with complete love and affection, of course! 😉
His unconditional and graceful heart kept me sane and loved on through many cold and loser nights, which is why my faith has grown stronger as I have grown up and closer to Him. There truly is no better teacher than our God.
He has been there through all the empty and unworthy moments, and He has also shown me the joy of motherhood. The skills that He has shown me in parenting and communication have built up my ability to share His mission.
“Be bold for Him” is what I often say to push myself out of my comfort zone. Honestly, that was about two years ago! Ha! I am starting to see a pattern here.
Being in the later part of 30s means business indeed! What have they taught you?